it hurts more in the daytime
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
