South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
