actually, I'm a sock model
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
