So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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