He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
