I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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