Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
