Little spoons don't ask big questions
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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