i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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