How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
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there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!