Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
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I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
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What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.