Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke