i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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