At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
