can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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