eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
