so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
