I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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