...so i touched it.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
