we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
