I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
