I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
