You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
