The maid of honor just puked.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize