I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
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now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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