she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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