do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
