just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
