i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize