is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
