when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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