butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
