I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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