My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
