At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize