Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
