There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
