TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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