I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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