Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize