She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
