these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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