i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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