I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
