Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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