Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize