So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
