your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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