Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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