That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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