: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
me + whiskey = a bad person
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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