There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize