I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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