someone threw a dead crab at me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
