do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
