check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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